Tuesday, November 23, 2010

My Favorite Things

Well, it's that time of year again when Oprah does her famous "Favorite Things" show; known to cause heavy breathing, bouts of fainting, mild dancing, excessive screaming and even some "OH LAWD!"-ing. She's given away everything from video cameras to phones to clothing, books, food, cars and trips. But why should Oprah have all the fun? Why are her favorite things so important? I've got some pretty awesome favorite things too and I'm gonna share them with you RIGHT NOW! (Of course, I mean sharing in a totally 'over the internet' kind of way. You will not be receiving any of these items - unless you like, steal them from my house or something.)

I now present to you, in no particular order, my 10 most favorite things:

Old El Paso Gordita Dinner Kit
Gorditas are pretty much the most delicious thing you can cook that comes out of a box. They're quick and simple. The spicy ranch sauce is unbelievably addictive. A gordita is kind of like a sexier version of a taco. Here's a personal tip: put cheese on the bottom of the gordita shell first, melt, then add your meat and toppings!

Converse All Stars
Just about the most comfortable sneakers you will ever wear in your life. They're versatile; you can dress them up, you can dress them down. Pair them with skinny jeans. They're iconic! Just remember how cool those red ones looked on Tom Hanks in the movie, BIG. I own them in three colors: black, grey and cobalt blue.

St Ives Apricot Scrub

This is one of the best exfoliator and facial cleansers around. The pain you feel from rubbing this gritty scrub that feels like wet concrete on your skin is masked by its deliciously fruity apricot scent. See how red and raw your face is afterward? That's how you know its working!

Beverly Hills, 90210: The Complete Series

If you grew up in the 90s, you've seen at least one episode of this show. You might not have watched willingly, but you got sucked into the trials and tribulations of the Walsh kids and that catchy theme song was stuck in your head for a week. BH 90210 taught me so much about life and I still, to this day, can relate real life situations to some of its episodes. Like that one where _______. And then there's the time ________. See? You try it now!

Essie Nail Polish: Marshmallow

YOU PICK COLOR!, The nail technician yells at you. You gravitate towards all the bright, shimmery, tantalizing OPI blends. Suddenly, this tiny white bottle catches your eye. It's simple, it's subtle, it's perfect. It's MARSHMALLOW! An almost sheer white polish that doesn't look like when you were going through your "alternative phase" in High School and used to paint your nails with White Out! It's also great for French Manicures.

Britney Spears: The Singles Collection

I fucking love Britney Spears. Sure, she may not sing live, but the legendary, Miss Britney Jean Spears has brought us hit after classic pop hit throughout her career. Now, you can own them all in one timeless collection. Recall all your favorites like "Hit me Baby One More Time", "Lucky", "Stronger", "Toxic" - and even those smash hits from her crazed and shaved head years like "Gimme More". Put on your tightest black v-neck, pop in one of these fierce tracks and pretend you're at the hottest Gay club in WeHo.

Olay Body Wash with Tone enriching ribbons

I am obsessed with this body wash. It is smooth and luscious and leaves a little trace of shimmer all over your skin. You feel moist (not in an awkward way) and sexy all day. And did I mention the SHIMMERS!? Who doesn't want be be sparkly?

Pretzel M&Ms
Let's say you love pretzels, and you love M&Ms, and you love chocolate covered pretzels. Well, guess what? M&M just did you one better and put a pretzel inside an M&M! They're horribly addictive and delicious - a perfectly blend of sweet and salty. Once you pop, you can't stop! (Oh, wait, that's that other snack food...)

The iPod
Remember when you used to make mix tapes back in the day? You'd wait by the radio for your favorite song and quickly press play - then repeat on both sides of a blank Memorex? Then, remember when you were in college and used to download music illegally from Napster and burn it onto a mix CD? Gone are those days. The ipod takes stolen music to a whole other level. I have 120 GBs on my ipod. What do I have on it? Everything. Anything I want. It's full of 60 GB of nonsense right now. And to me, that's pretty fuckin awesome.

Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel
 If you're like me, you hate cleaning. You hate cleaning the toilet even more. You hated have to choose between the lil Toilet duck that you have to pull your whole toilet tank apart to get to function, or sticking that gross little clip on to the side of your tank & removing it when the blue disc is gone and the plastic hanger is all covered in piss.Gone are those days. You load up the Toilet gel plunger and stamp a lil flowery disc of scented cleaning amazingness right onto the side of your bowl. It lasts at least two weeks (depending on if it makes it through Chili night or not) and then BAM! you just stamp on a new one. Just sit back and let those cute little bubbles do all the hard work for you.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my favorite things. If not, then I don't really care because I'm sure the first thing on the minds of people in Oprah's audience was "How much can I sell this for on eBay?" when they saw half the shit she was giving away. You can't win em all.

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