The Date: The Wrap-Up

So, I was supposed to go on a date Friday night. I decided to pre-game the Jersey Shore premiere Thursday night with countless Red Bull & Vodka, which led to a pretty awful hangover on Friday. After feeling like shit all day and having my date not even tell me where we were going until 2:30 - plus, yelling at myself in the mirror for 10 minutes that I didn't wanna go on the date - I finally texted him around 4:30 and told him I wasn't going to be able to make it because I had an emergency. (aka sit in my house and be lazy) He asked if I wanted to reschedule for Saturday night. I agreed because actually, that would work out a lot better since I had to work Saturday morning anyway so going out Friday night I would have felt rushed.

I felt much better Saturday: more relaxed and refreshed. Hell, I even went to Target and mulled over several different outfit options that I could wear on my date. (Along with multiple text messages to my BFF involving combinations of tops, jeans & shoes) I got dressed, did my hair and makeup and got on the bus looking entirely way too pretty for public transit. We were meeting at this nice looking Mexican restaurant with an impressive tequila selection; It was totally way fancy inside with old wood-carved moldings, giant sparkly chandeliers and draperies sections off dining areas.

He was sitting at the bar when I walked in and I recognized him as most of what I had expected considering he had only one picture on dating site - and it was a side shot, reminiscent of those MySpace profile pics. I ordered a Margarita, no salt, and the introductions began. We snacked on delicious chips and fresh guac in some giant stone bowl possibly shaped like a pig. We talked about work and school and True Blood and nerdyness, had a few more drinks and dinner, talked a bit more, then decided to head to another bar for drinks. We went to a local sports pub, ordered some beers, talked about Inception and Batman and the X-Games and Boxing and Japan. Then a drunken group from a pub crawl came in and we apparently made accidental friends with the drunk guy who sat next to me, invaded my personal space bubble, then proceeded to throw spit balls at his friends across the bar. We took this as our cue to leave.We walked around a park and sat on a bench and talked some more about family and friends and Philadelphia, spotted a stray cat hunting, did some fancy dog watching and then it was getting late and I had to catch my bus back. So we walked to the bus stop, talked some more and then said our goodbyes.

No hug. No goodnight kiss. Just a "I had a good time tonight. When you come back from vacation, we'll talk again." and I got on the bus. I feel bad, but I kind of already knew straight away at the restaurant that this wasn't going to go anywhere. No spark, no chemistry. He was very nice and a cool guy though and hopefully maybe we can be friends and I can expand my social circle beyond my co-workers and Drag Queens. It's also really hard to try and go on dates when you're pretty much head over heels in love with someone else, but maybe I am taking a step in the right direction. To even have gone on this date to begin with was huge for me. I have to not let myself stagnate this year and keep everything moving forward towards where I want to go and what I want to eventually do with my life.

But maybe I'll have more luck next time....

A/S/L?

Many moons ago I made a half-ass attempt at trying online dating. It lead to several AIM conversations with some of the guys I had messaged, 1 actual date and an over a year-old friendship with a chick who I met on the site, non-sexually. The guys seemed normal enough at first: talked about common interests, didn't ask me for nude pictures. So I agreed to meet up with one for dinner in the city. We had a good conversation at dinner and things appeared to be going well until we decided to grab drinks afterwards. As this guy started drinking more, he got progressively obnoxious. He worked at some big network Cable station in their web development/gaming dept. - so clearly was a big video game nerd. I told him that my dream job was to work in the PR/Marketing Dept. at Nintendo. Instead of being like, "Oh wow. That's awesome", my statement was instantly met with "Oh, well, Nintendo only hires within so you need to know someone in order to work there." Strike 1, guy. Just because they rejected your ass when you tried to apply there because you design flash games for a living doesn't mean that no one else can get a job there. Then, as the night was growing later, I had to get back to the train for my ridiculously long trip back to CT - and he knew this. Instead of hailing a cab, he insisted we walk all the way back to Grand Central.... from 9th ave. Strike 2.

Of course I missed my train. He had been persistently trying to convince me to go home with him at the bar, (to his parents house in upper Westchester, the completely wrong direction from my parents house, and on a work night no less.) so this was obviously some kind of plan of his to try and get me to come back with him. Sorry buddy, not happening. Once he realized that I wasn't going to play with his Wii, he went to go catch his train which was leaving in 10 minutes and left me there! My train only ran every hour and wasn't coming for another 40 minutes. Strike 3. Seriously dude? You wanted  to get in my pants so bad but you couldn't do me the courtesy of hanging out with me and entertaining me while I waited for my train after you made me miss one? Well, instead of looking like a bum curled up on the floor of GCT, I decided to take a local train that would eventually connect to my train in order to kill time. At least I could nap comfortably that way - and try to get as far away from any memory of that horrible date as quickly as possible.

Needless to say there was no second date. I blocked him on the dating site and blocked him on AIM.... only to have him IM me from a DIFFERENT SCREEN NAME! (Stalker much?) and ask me why I had blocked him. To which I didn't even respond. I became so frustrated by the failure of this date that I blocked the other guy from the dating site on AIM too - and he ALSO IMed me from a DIFFERENT SCREEN NAME! asking me why I had blocked him. (What is this, High school? I'm gonna go on another screen name to ask you why you blocked me? Is it really that serious?) So at that point I had had enough. I logged into the dating site, found the account settings function and clicked "Delete Account" faster than you could say Norman Bates.

.........

Fast forward to now: I am trying to give this online dating site a second chance. Mostly as a social experiment and possibly fodder for my future PhD in the Social Psychology of Men. I really love the piss-poor attempts at communication that some of these guys give you on this site. Yes, let's not even use actual sentences or complete thoughts or even try to start a conversation with you. Let's cut to the "YO SHAWTY! I LOVE THEM LIPS GURL!" or "Wink! You have sexy eyes!" Do guys seriously think girls are going to respond to them? Or is that the point - to try and push people's buttons and send those same generic messages to as many "hot chicks" on the site as possible and see who takes the bait? I guess if I really wanted to take it further and instigate for scientific purposes, I could create a fake account and see what the responses are like then; But I really don't have the time or patience for that until I start writing my thesis.

For now though, I have had several normal conversations with a few somewhat attractive guys who seem to be genuinely interested in me. And I even have a date for Friday. Will round 2 of online dating go a lot better than round 1? I guess you guys will find out on Saturday.