Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Shitting where you eat

I have tried to make it a point not to hook up with people that I work with. However, in the past, I haven't always had the best power of restraint. I thought it wouldn't be a problem because we only worked together on the weekends. Boy, did it turn out that I would be soooooooooo wrong!

My first foray into dating again after my ex-bf-from-hell started with some light and casual flirting at work with this total cutie at my part time job at the local movie theater. He was tall, dark and handsome - everything I loved in a man. He was always brooding and aloof and sexy/serious as he swept the movie theater's rows and lifted bags of trash with some sexily sculpted arms. I could tell he was a little bit into me, but I couldn't get him to close the deal. But thanks to the power of the internet (and lots of Carlo Rossi jug wine!), I sent him a friend request and a subsequent message on Facebook asking him if he wanted to "show me around since I was new in town".

I trembled with nervousness all day that Sunday since I was working the day shift and he would be coming in as I was leaving. I even started freaking out and thinking that maybe I had misread his signals and this was all a bad idea and let me sneak out of here before he sees me. But he cornered me at the elevator.

"So, what's with you poking me on Facebook?" 
"Oh, you know, I was just... saying hey." 
"So, I got your message...." *insert me holding my breath in anticipation* ".And I'd love to hang out sometime." ..
"Ok, cool." *insert my GIANT sigh of relief* And I wrote down my number and told him to call me sometime.

He called me up the afternoon after my Grandmother's funeral and it made all the sadness and misery I felt from my loss fade away for that  moment. We had a date the next night to go to the movies (how original!) and after we hung up, I waltzed into my living room, twirled past my parents and then back into my room and landed on my bed. I had a date! With a boy that I liked!

Our date was simple. We saw a horrible movie that I picked out (there weren't too many other options) and then grabbed drinks at a local cafe. We took a walk around the little quaint downtown area of the town my parent's recently re-located to and then stood in the parking lot talking by our cars. If he didn't kiss me, I swore I was gonna scream. It was obvious I might need to take things into my own hands. Our conversation went like this: (in reference to talking about our interests and things that are exciting)

Him: "You've seen me at work.... Have you ever seen me get excited about anything?"
Me: "Hmm, true... But I can think of a few things to get excited about."
*Insert exchanged glances, wicked smiles and our bodies and faces leaning in together for one of the best kisses ever* 

It was cold and we opted to take this into the backseat of his car where we continued talking and kissing and with me never wanting the night to end. Finally, it was late and we parted ways, but we would see each other at work that weekend. On our shift change encounter on Sunday, we decided to arrange another meetup for when he got out of work that night. I met him at the theater, we got some beers and then he took me for a drive around town and down to the waterfront where we steamed up the windows of his Pathfinder and I got to see even more of his perfect and sexy rock climber's body.

I called him that Friday night at work and made another date with him to another pretty bad movie for when I got out of work. Then the next night, I waited for him to get out of work so I could invite him over to "watch TV" at my house - which actually wound up being watching TV for an hour or so and then he would tell me, "It's late - I'd better go." And then we'd make out and fool around for about another 45 minutes. And ok, maybe after this I might have gotten a little bit clingy. I stalked his Facebook page. I'd wait for him in the lobby of the theater for him to get off work when I got out earlier than him. But he didn't seem to mind.

We had a work meeting early one Saturday morning and we sat together and tried to look interested in emergency exits and evacuation techniques. When it ended, I went to get my paycheck but couldn't find him. I walked out to my car and there he was, waiting for me for a change. It was the cutest thing ever. He was parked right next to me and asked if I wanted to hang out for a bit. So we drove around some more and went down to the beach again (it certainly looked a lot different during the day and from not the backseat.) The audubon society building was there so we went inside and checked it out, then walked down onto the beach and I nuzzled into the back of his shoulder and he looked down at me and I looked up and we smiled. We drove back and he wanted to stop in some store that his sister conveniently worked in to look at jeans. Then we decided to part ways and go home for a bit since we both had to work that night.

I got out early and this time, I was waiting for him at his car. I invited him back to my house and we watched TV again - like clockwork, 2 episodes of "Entourage" later and he was telling me he'd "better go" but instead, we were kissing and turning the lights off and taking off clothes. Suddenly, we were on the verge of having sex, he was inside me and it was like MAGIC! I felt like I'd just spotted a unicorn in a field of rainbows. I had been waiting for this moment and all it's awesomeness for weeks. And then... he wasn't inside me anymore. He pulled back and I was confused. I offered some oral compensation so he wasn't left hanging and then, he really did have to go. The next weekend at work was semi-awkward. I could sense he was kind of uncomfortable about what happened and we didn't hang out again that week.

The following weekend changed everything. I got drunk with my ex-gf at her aunt's house and she left him some kind of voicemail which I still don't completely remember, but I am 99.9% sure it involved her talking about his cock a lot and possibly about the 30 seconds in heaven and insulting him. But you can bet your ass, the next weekend at work, I got the coldest fucking shoulder ever. He never spoke to me again after that. I tried sending him some messages on Facebook to find out what I did wrong, but he never responded to me.

And then, 9 months later, he quit the movie theater.

I pined over him and lusted over him for those whole 9 months before he left, hoping he would come around and that we would be able to mend the rift. We went about pretty good avoiding each other for a while, exchanging dirty looks and eye rolls. By the end, we just kind of gave up the hostility but we never had a complete conversation; The closest I came was when he asked me if I was collecting bottle caps (which I had been to get points for free shit) and tossed me a few coke caps.  Everyone else we worked with pretty much knew we hooked up. Some probably knew the whole story and the rest probably filled it in on their own. Either way, I'll never know the complete truth about that voicemail and what happened.

And so the moral of the story kiddos is:
1) Don't fuck around with people you work with
2) Don't dick and tell.
3) Don't let dumb drunk lesbians take your phone and drunk dial dudes who you are infatuated with

1 comment:

  1. awww, well, there are several good reasons not to date people from work, but sometimes good stuff just happens.

    and besides, in this case, it was totally the drunken voice messages from your ex that ruined it, not the fact that you worked together...

    still, it sucks :( *hugs*